Our little Miracle Baby’s kicks are getting stronger by the day.  My husband and I were able to feel those precious kicks from the outside for the first time on Friday (9/25/09).  I stayed home from work on Friday because I wasn’t feeling well (runny/stuffy nose, headache, etc.) so I was very inactive for the majority of the day and the baby seems to be most active when I’m still.  I felt the kicks/punches/wiggles much stronger than I had in past days, so I gently rested my hand on my belly to see if I could feel the movement from the outside.  I was pleasantly surprised to feel those strong little jolts against my hand!  Later, when my husband came home I placed his hand on my belly so he could feel, too.  It was a special moment to share that with him and wonderful for him to be able to experience what I’ve been feeling on the inside for the past two weeks.

In other news, my husband got a new job.  He starts tomorrow!  Praise God!  We’ve been praying for something to come along.  The timing is perfect as his benefits (namely, health insurance) will kick in in 90 days, meaning we’ll be covered beginning in January, which lines up perfectly if I end up leaving my full-time job when the baby comes.

20-week ultrasound is on Wednesday!  I’ll update afterwards. 

**Edit:  I might as well chronicle the not-so-good along with the good…  I had quite a scare yesterday afternoon: I fell down the stairs.  I’ve walked up and down the stairs at our house thousands of times without falling, so who knows why I fell yesterday, but I did.  My feet just slipped out from under me and I fell right on my butt.  I shudder to think what could have happened if I had fallen forward…but, thankfully there was no serious damage done.  I’m sore today, in the obvious area, and my arm also hurts.  I must have strained a muscle trying to catch myself.  Oh well, as my 3-year-old niece told me, “You’ll live.”  And so I will.

Speaking of my niece, I was talking to her on the phone a couple weeks ago and she said the cutest thing, “Did you get your baby yet?”  We babysat her this weekend and she kept talking about the baby saying things like, “Your baby’s not ready to be born yet” and “When your baby’s born and she can’t eat yet, only a bottle, and I come to visit, I’ll watch you feed her.”  She also keeps mentioning that the baby can use her potty chair because she doesn’t need it anymore.  She and my 2-year-old nephew are both convinced the baby is a girl.  I have a hunch they might be right, but my husband is holding out for a boy.  Neither of us really care one way or the other, but it’s fun to speculate.

This post is more for me than anything: I haven’t had much of a chance (or desire) to journal lately, but I don’t want to forget the timing of a very important pregnancy milestone that I’ve been anxiously awaiting since week 16. 

On Sunday evening, September 13, I felt the first few little kicks!  My parents came to visit for the weekend, so I didn’t get to catch up on my sleep over the weekend like I usually do.  So, after they left on Sunday afternoon, I went straight to bed to rest.  I turned out the lights, curled up with my mountain of pillows and blankets, and was dozing off and on while watching The Lake House.  My hand was gently resting on my pregnant belly, when I felt a new sensation.  It felt something like a muscle twitch in my lower, right abdomen and it happened several times.  It didn’t take me long to realize it was my precious baby I was feeling!  I’ve felt those precious movements several times each day since.  It is a great comfort to know that our precious Miracle Baby is alive and kicking within my womb.  As I sit and type this, those little kicks (or punches!) are coming like crazy! 

I’ve still been nauseous off and on, but since about week 16 or so, it hasn’t been a daily occurrence.  I now throw up about once per week rather than twice (or more) per day.  However, I’ve also started getting headaches off and on and the dreaded heartburn almost daily.  Sleep has become difficult, as I can no longer lay on my back (the weight of the uterus can pinch off a major vein, blocking blood flow to the baby), my hips and lower back get sore from laying on my side all night.  My legs have also started cramping during the night – painful enough to wake me up.  And, of course, I usually can’t make it through the night without getting up to pee.

People at work have started commenting about how much I’m showing and how it’s cute that I’m “looking pregnant.”  My husband has been taking weekly pictures to document the growth of my baby bump.  I have long since grown out of my regular pants and even my t-shirts that I wear to bed are getting tight around the middle!  I absolutely love being pregnant and looking pregnant.  We have a wedding to go to this weekend, so I had fun buying a cute maternity dress to wear.  Even though some of the symptoms aren’t so pleasant, I am loving every minute of this pregnancy. 

The next big event is our 20-week ultrasound on Wednesday, September 30.  Hopefully we’ll get to find out whether we need to shop for pink or blue.  But, most importantly, we get to check on the development of the baby and make sure all of his/her organs are developing properly.  We don’t care if we have a boy or a girl, we just want a healthy baby.  We haven’t had an ultrasound since 9 weeks and I’m so excited to see our precious Miracle again!

The following is a message I received from Minnesota Majority.

Last night, President Obama tried to reset the debate on health care reform in an address to a joint session of Congress. His objective was merely to change the tone of the debate, not to change the legislation that the American people have rejected. In his address, the president delivered a lot of nice-sounding sound bites that are entirely detached from the reality of the plan that’s being pushed through Congress.

• Ration care (pages 29, 85, 800).
• Drive people to the ‘government option’ (pages 72, 84-85, 265, 341, more).
• Dramatically increase costs and taxes (CBO estimates over $1 trillion in additional costs).
• Impose restrictions on how doctors practice medicine (pages 253,280, 289, 335-339, more).
• Provide government direct access to your personal bank account (page 59).
• Pressure elderly and seriously ill to forego life-extending care (pages 425-430).
• Establish a government database that includes your private, personal medical history (page 503).
• Enable the government to come into homes and usurp parental rights (Page 838).
• Work to systematically “increase birth intervals between pregnancies,” opening the very real possibility of forced, tax-payer funded abortions (page 768).

1. Get educated on how health care reform legislation will affect you and your family by visiting www.HealthReformScam.com.

2. Sign our Common Sense Health Care Reform Petition by clicking on the link below by visiting www.HealthCarePetition.com.

3. Forward this message to friends and neighbors asking them to do the same.

4. Attend a rally in opposition to Obamacare. President Obama will be conducting a health care reform rally at the Target Center this Saturday, September 12^th at noon. People who oppose Obama’s health care ‘reforms’ are planning to rally outside the Target Center. Details are not yet finalized, but you can get the latest information on the opposition rally by visiting http://www.minnesotamajority.org/Home/tabid/112/EntryID/209/Default.aspx

5. Help us defeat Obamacare with a secure online contribution.

Following is an email I received from Brian Gibson, Executive Director of Pro-Life Action Ministries.  I thought it was very well-written, so I’m sharing it here.

Dear Brenda,

The following was written for our next newsletter.  After listening to President Obama’s speech last night, it seems more pertinent than when I wrote it earlier this week.  Feel free to distribute this as you see fit.
 
 
“I Met Obama” — a Year Later
 
About a year ago, while returning from sidewalk counseling at Planned Parenthood, I had a “chance” encounter with our President. At the time he was the Democrats candidate for President. Mr. Obama had quietly come to the Twin Cities for an evening fundraising event. My encounter with him was the next morning on the sidewalk in front of the Copper Dome Restaurant. Mr. Obama’s “surprise” visit to the restaurant had more police, Secret Service Agents, and media persons in attendance than “regular citizens.”
 
When Mr. Obama came out of the restaurant, he began shaking hands of those who had started to gather on the sidewalk. I was the second to be greeted by the candidate. It was an incredible opportunity to challenge Mr. Obama’s pro-abortion positions which I took up immediately as he took my handshake.
 
Much has transpired since that morning in August. The response I received from Mr. Obama has become very telling of this man’s way of handling issues which he has strong beliefs and purposeful intentions. His response to me that day, the only person in the vicinity challenging his positions, was remarkably cool and collected. Instead of reacting by backing away or trying to dismiss me quickly, he held my handshake and tried to let me know that he was empathetic to what I was saying, even thanking me for sidewalk counseling that morning. He told me of his deep religious struggle with the abortion issue. But since taking office, Mr. Obama has acted decisively in favor of the killing of the unborn, showing no outward signs of a religious struggle over abortion.
 
Many months later, as President of the United States, Mr. Obama had a meeting with Roman Catholic Francis Cardinal George which included the life issues. Cardinal George related afterward that he had to repeatedly tell Mr. Obama that they did not agree on abortion and other life issues. Apparently, the President continues to deal with these all too important issues by trying to get us to believe that he agrees with us, while he does something else entirely.
 
Now Mr. Obama is telling the nation that pro-life leaders are “bearing false witness” and disseminating misinformation regarding the inclusion of abortion and euthanasia in the health care reform legislation he is pressing so hard to get enacted into law. Yet even the mainstream media has begun to make it clear that the President is wrong. The Wall Strret Journal, the Associated Press, Time Magazine, The Washington Post, and FactCheck.org have all commented that taxpayer funding of abortion and the requirement that abortion be covered are included in the health care bill before the House of Representatives. Once again, Mr. Obama wants us to accept what he says and disregard what he actually is doing.
 
He is articulate. He is poised. He is a capable of endearing many to himself as he meets and speaks to thousands. He is very charismatic. But he is also very dangerous. A man whose word is opposite his actions is untrustworthy, no matter how amazingly smooth and articulate he may be.
 
As stated in Romans 16:18, “For such men are slaves, not of our Lord Christ but of their own appetites; and by their smooth and flattering speech they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting.” Let us not be the unsuspecting when it comes to our leaders in Washington. Let us keep them in our prayers, not for the success of their plans, but for what is truly for the good of our nation; the defense of the innocent and upholding of the truth. Let us pray for their change of heart toward He who is all good. And let us continue to challenge their evil positions, listening not to smooth and flattering speech.

Our weekly radio show airs on Saturday from 11:30 a.m. to Noon.  Listen as it airs in the Twin Cities area on AM 1330 or hear it on the internet from anywhere at http://relevantradio.streamguys.us/flash/ondemand.html.  Click on “Living the Gospel of Life” to hear the show.

Sincerely in Christ,

Brian Gibson
Executive Director
Pro-Life Action Ministries
http://www.plam.org

For the past 10 weeks or so, I’ve been nauseous off and on everyday and have been throwing up practically like clockwork at least twice each day.  Although it’s been hard to get through the days, in a way I consider the “morning” sickness (or “all-day” sickness, as I like to call it) a blessing. 

I experienced morning sickness during my first pregnancy, too.  But, around 8 weeks, I woke up one morning without a trace of morning sickness.  All of my symptoms, the nausea, and fatigue had literally disappeared overnight.  At the time, I was thinking, “This is great!  The rest of my pregnancy is going to be a breeze!”  But, little did I know, the disappearance of my pregnancy symptoms was due to the death of my unborn baby.  So, if I didn’t have morning sickness this time around, I think I’d be a nervous wreck, wondering everyday if my baby was still alive. 

Every morning that I’ve thrown up while brushing my teeth and every night I’ve gone to bed feeling nauseous, I thank God that my precious miracle is still alive and well within my womb. 

Nine months ago, I couldn’t wait for July 26 to arrive.  July 26 was a day that held great promise for our future – the day we were supposed to welcome our first child into the world.  But now, July 26 has come and gone and there is no baby in my arms, no late-night feedings to wake up for, no diapers to change.  The pain I felt when we found out that we had lost our precious baby (January 13, a day I will surely never forget) has resurfaced this month as my due date drew near. 

Though the pain of our loss is still very real, we also have reason to celebrate.  I’m pregnant again – 11 weeks as of today.  It’s a bittersweet feeling to know this new life growing within my womb could not exist without the loss of another.  I love both of my babies with all my heart (though I have yet to meet either of them) and I cannot help but wish there were some way they could both still be with me now. 

I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more than to be a wife and mother.  I’ve always had a love for babies and children.  This deep desire to be a mother makes the loss of a child, especially a first child, the child that makes a woman a mother, especially hard to bear.  This same desire makes a pregnancy all the more exciting and joyful.  The mix of sorrow and joy I’m feeling today is hard to put into words. 

I’m extremely grateful for both of my babies.  The first, Francis, has changed me into a better, more compassionate and loving person and wife.  Francis made me a mother – though not exactly as I would have planned – I’m certain I will be a better mother and will cherish my children more because of Francis.  The second, my miracle baby, brings me joy everyday.  As I often rest my hand on my growing belly, I am filled with hope and can’t help but smile. 

God has greatly blessed my husband and me.  We definitely had our share of suffering and difficulties in our first year of marriage, but we’ve come out stronger, better people – closer to each other and closer to God.  Our lives are far from perfect and there are still several challenges ahead, but we have our faith and we have each other.  Combined with the promise of new life, I’d say our future is looking pretty bright. 

By: Fr. Frank Pavone
National Director, Priests for Life

I recently had a conversation with a woman named Laura, who volunteers in the mail room at Priests for Life. She told me an interesting story about her son, Salvatore, who was born in 1973, the year Roe. Vs. Wade legalized abortion.

After she had given birth and was in the hospital recovering from her caesarian section, she was struck by the fact that even though the maternity ward seemed to be full of women, there were no other newborn babies around except hers. In fact, her infant son was all alone in a room full of empty incubators. It was a strange and almost eerie site.

One morning, Laura was awakened by screaming and moaning coming from down the hall. Thinking it was simply the labor pains of other women giving birth, she asked the nurse why someone didn’t help them. The nurse replied matter-of-factly: “Oh they’re not in labor. They’re having abortions. They didn’t think it would hurt.”

It turned out that the hospital Laura was in specialized in providing abortions, and following the 1973 Supreme Court decision, their business was booming.

The image of that ghostly maternity ward, devoid of all but one, solitary child; devoid of all the happy sounds of crying, newborn babies, with only the agonized sobbing of post-abortive mothers echoing through the empty corridors, reminded me again of how much emptier our world is because of all the abortions that have taken place since this most horrible of all atrocities was legalized.

And make no mistake, it is the most horrible of all atrocities. Sometimes people in our own Church attempt to trivialize abortion by lumping it together with the other evils of the world – by comparing it with poverty, disease, war, etc. But as the numbers clearly demonstrate, there is no comparison. Since 1973 there have been 50 million abortions in the United States alone. Worldwide, there are 42 million abortions every year. That means that in the last thirty years, there have been over 1.5 billion abortions!

1.5 billion! That’s the equivalent of approximately one quarter of the entire population of the planet! One quarter of the earth’s population, murdered; snuffed out; gone.

There’s a famous poem about Jesus that concludes with the memorable lines: “All the armies that ever marched, all the navies that ever sailed, all the kings that ever reigned, put together, have not affected the life of man upon this earth as powerfully as that One Solitary Life.”

Unfortunately, we can say about abortion:

All the wars ever fought,
All the holocausts ever perpetrated,
All the plagues that ever raged,
All the bombs that ever dropped,
All the famines that ever laid waste to the land, put together, have not killed the number of human beings wiped out by abortion.

And yet, hope endures, because God’s grace abounds, even amidst such devastation.

And what ever happened to Laura’s baby? As she proudly related to me, her son, Fr. Sal, just celebrated his one year anniversary as a priest of the Catholic Church!

Comments on this column? Go to www.askfrfrank.com
This column can be found online at www.priestsforlife.org/columns/columns2009/09-06-29-one-solitary-child.htm
Click here to listen to this column in MP3 format
Fr. Frank’s Columns are podcast, see www.priestsforlife.org/podcast

I know this isn’t the update that some of you have been asking for, but this story is too amazing not to share.  What’s even more amazing is that, while I’m sure the entire world has heard of the “Octo-mom,” this story didn’t make national news.  I received the following in an email from my mom:

A Muslim man in Egypt killed his wife because she was reading the Bible and then buried her with their infant baby and 8-year-old daughter.

The girls were buried alive! He then reported to the police that an uncle killed the kids. 15 days later, another family member died.  When they went to bury him, they found the 2 little girls under the sand – ALIVE!

The country is outraged over the incident, and the man will be executed at the end of July.

The older girl was asked how she had survived and she says, “A man wearing shiny white clothes, with bleeding wounds in his hands, came every day to feed us.  He woke up my mom so she could nurse my sister.”  She was interviewed on Egyptian national TV, by a veiled Muslim woman news anchor.  The anchor said on public TV, “This was none other than Jesus, because nobody else does things like this!”

Muslims believe Isa (Jesus) would do this, but the wounds mean He really was crucified, and it’s clear also that He is alive!  But, it’s also clear that the child could not make up a story like this, and there is no way these children could have survived without a true miracle.

Muslim leaders are going to have a hard time to figure out what to do with this, and the popularity of the Passion movie doesn’t help!  With Egypt at the center of the media and education in the Middle East, you can be sure this story will spread.  Christ is still controlling and turning the world.  Please let this story be shared.

The Lord says, “I will bless the person who puts his trust in me.”  (Jeremiah 17)

Please forward to all on your list and God will reward you abundantly…spread the Good News!

My husband and I went on a cruise last week to celebrate our first wedding anniversary.  It was wonderful!  I’ll try to get caught up on my subs and comments this week, as well as write a post about the cruise.  I think my equilibrium somehow got thrown off while we were on the ship, because I still feel like I’m rocking back and forth or moving even when I’m completely still.  It’s the strangest feeling…I’m doing all I can to not fall off my chair or look like I’m drunk when I walk through the office.  I pray this doesn’t escalade into an all-out case of vertigo like my husband went through…

Thank you to those of you who commented on my last post.  It really means a lot to me to have support and prayers from family and friends.

I can’t even remember the last time I sat down and actually wrote something here – from the heart.  Since I lost Francis, I’ve done a lot of “traditional” (pen and paper) journaling.  I’ve had a lot of feelings that I needed to get out, but my thoughts were much too personal to broadcast here. 

I’ve wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember.  On November 16, when I saw that little pink plus sign on the pregnancy test, I was the happiest I’d been since my wedding day.  In that moment, my dreams of being a mother had finally come true and I knew my life would never be the same.  In the next few weeks, I bonded with the baby growing within me.  I was constantly caressing my ever-expanding belly and saying, “I love you baby.”  I grew to love my baby just as much as any mother has ever loved any child.  I cried tears of joy on December 9 at my first ultrasound; seeing and hearing the perfect heartbeat of my precious little peanut was the most amazing thing I’d ever experienced.

For the next month, I went happily about my business reading baby books and thinking of baby names.  I started collecting baby things (free samples of Desitin, Christmas gifts from family, baby clothes I couldn’t resist buying) in a shoe box.  I started looking at cribs and thinking about turning our office/guest room into a nursery.  I signed up for email updates about my baby’s development and thoroughly enjoyed learning about the stages my baby was going through.  Or at least, the stages I thought my baby was going through…

My happy dreams came to a screeching halt on January 13 at my second ultrasound.  This time, when I saw my precious little peanut on the ultrasound screen, there was no heartbeat.  I was crushed.  The hopes and dreams I had for my child had vanished in an instant.  Just as when I saw that little pink plus sign, my life was forever changed.

Francis Lindner, my precious little peanut, was welcomed into this world with open arms, an open heart, and nothing but love, joy and excitement.  Though my child only lived within my womb for eight weeks, Francis has forever changed my life.  I may not have a baby on my hip or a big pregnant belly under my shirt, but I am a mother.  My child lives on forever in heaven and will be carried forever with me in my heart.