Two years ago (January 13, 2009) we lost our first child, Francis.  Last week I got out the journal that I started writing in shortly thereafter.  I cried my eyes out as I read through the pages, remembering how deep my pain was.  But in those pages, I also gleaned some wisdom. 

On February 17, 2009, I wrote, “I long to hold you in my arms, feed you, wake up in the middle of the night to comfort you…I long to ‘mother’ you…”  I was actually longing to wake up in the middle of the night to a crying baby!  Now, for the past 11 months, I’ve been complaining about having to get up in the middle of the night to a crying baby. 

In the midst of the sleep deprivation and all the responsibilities that go along with motherhood, I think I’ve lost sight of just what a blessing it all is.  All of it, even waking up in the middle of the night, is a tremendous blessing!  It’s a blessing just to be a mother…and an even greater blessing to have a healthy child.  I need to keep that perspective to prevent myself from drowning in the (sometimes unpleasant, but oh-so-rewarding) details that come with motherhood.