October 15, 2010
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The abortion nurse’s daughter
Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. I plan on writing a piece later, dedicated to our Francis. But, for now, I just cannot help but share this story… (from http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=211857)
When Abigail Seidman was 10 years old her mother had an abortion. Abigail suspects her father was not the baby’s father, and her parents eventually divorced.
Abigail describes her childhood until that time as normal. But the abortion “radicalized” her mother, Abigail told me, who came to decide abortion had not only been the right decision for her but was also good in a moral sense.
“She began to celebrate her abortion,” Abigail said, “explaining that now I would remain an only child.” But young Abigail was secretly horrified, because she had always wanted a sibling.
Abigail’s mother was and is a nurse. She became more involved in feminism and the abortion culture. She decided to switch careers and began working at her local abortion mill in Toledo, Ohio, as well as her local Planned Parenthood, which did not commit abortions.
On Abigail’s 11th birthday, her mother put her on the birth-control pill, admonishing her not to have sex but to nevertheless take precautions, since she could be raped. “Rape was a particular obsession,” Abigail told me. “I lived in absolute terror of it for my entire adolescence. The feminist mantra ‘every man is a potential rapist’ was frequently repeated.”
As Abigail’s mother became more deeply involved with feminism, she told Abigail all people were naturally bisexual and androgynous and that gender and sexuality were merely social constructs. She cut Abigail’s waist-length hair short, which she was not allowed to grow out again until she was an adult. She encouraged Abigail at age 12 to identify openly as a bisexual and forced her to wear GLBT pins on her backpack.
Abigail was raised Episcopalian, but the abortion prompted her mother to change religions. The clinic owner where Abigail’s mother worked was a Wiccan. Most of her new friends followed a Wicca-oriented New Age path and worshipped fertility, warrior and death goddesses. Abigail’s mother dabbled in all the aforementioned but settled on Buddhism. She banned Bibles and discussion of Christianity from the house.
“I dutifully wore the crystal and goddess jewelry I was given and the ubiquitous Birkenstock sandals,” Abigail said. “I told people at school I was a witch, although when pressed I could never articulate exactly what that was or what I did that made me one.”
When Abigail turned 13 her mother began pulling her from school on Fridays to work as what pro-lifers call a “deathscort” at her abortion mill, one who attempts to usher pregnant mothers past pro-life sidewalk counselors into the mill before they can hear or see anything that would cause them to change their minds.
Abigail developed a mixed view of pro-lifers. Some were friendly and sympathetic, but some were noisy and militant.
“The worst part was when they would try to persuade me to agree with their view,” Abigail told me, “little realizing I already did. But if I admitted it, the other deathscorts would report back to my mother and I would be punished.”
Abigail developed her secret pro-life beliefs by reading “hostile” pro-life books at the abortion clinic, by listening to sidewalk counselors, by seeing graphic photos of aborted babies at the mill and by learning about fetal development in school.
And Abigail was greatly impacted by post-abortive mothers “coming in and out, often crying, sometimes downcast with a hostile-looking partner or parent dragging them along by the arm, sometimes lashing out in rage – but never, ever calm, confident and happy, which is what I had been told, over and over again, was in fact the case: Everyone who has an abortion wants one. Everyone feels relieved afterwards. No one ever suffers psychological ill effects, whether before, during, or afterwards – and if they say they do, it’s only because they’ve been brainwashed by evil Christians who want to keep women barefoot, pregnant and illiterate. They must have been weak. That’s not our fault. We did what was best for them and now they’re being ungrateful. They should just grow up and get over it.”
Abigail first smoked marijuana at the clinic owner’s house at age 15. Drug use within the abortion culture is “quite common,” Abigail told me, “particularly marijuana and LSD.” Pot was kept at the clinic and “smoked communally after work each day.”
At age 18, Abigail went off to college and accidentally got pregnant. She and her boyfriend both opposed abortion but didn’t think they were ready to raise a baby. They decided on adoption.
But Abigail’s mother would hear none of that. A controlling and volatile woman, she threatened to cut off Abigail’s school funding unless she aborted. She insisted that Abigail fly home and abort at her clinic, where she would gather friends to celebrate.
“I got the VIP treatment,” Abigail said. “Before I knew it I was on the table and waiting for everyone to crowd in so the doctor could begin. There were eight people in the room, including my mother’s two best friends. One drove 100 miles. They were so excited. They kept saying things to me like, ‘You’re part of the sisterhood now!’”
When it was over, Abigail’s mother looked at her with tears in her eyes and told her how proud she was. Despite Abigail’s previous academic and artistic accomplishment, she realized “this was the only time in my life that my mother had ever said she was proud of me.”
I asked Abigail about the abortion worship I’d heard so much about. “It is very real,” she explained. “It can sound fantastical, but some go so far as to worship death goddesses like Kali and Hecate and consider abortion to be a form of sacrifice. They are often obsessed with their menstruation and blood as well.”
After her abortion, Abigail’s good grades spiraled downward. Both she and her boyfriend eventually dropped out of school and drifted apart. She became addicted to eating – anorexia and bulimia – partying and cutting.
When she was 22, Abigail met her husband and began to get her life back together. After several miscarriages, they had two children before Abigail was rendered infertile when her endometrium had to be removed during early-intervention cancer treatment.
Abigail continued some of her destructive habits until last year when her oldest son was diagnosed with autism. She began conducting online research for help, but got nowhere with the atheist groups. “Their overwhelming response was, ‘I’m sorry you weren’t able to find out and abort him in time.’”
The thought of not having her son, difficult though his condition sometimes is, was unthinkable. “I realized I was a good mother, a loving mother and, most importantly, now, without question, a pro-life mother,” she said.
Abigail began to research Christianity, which “somehow didn’t seem as hostile and threatening now. In fact, it seemed like just what I needed.”
Four months ago Abigail accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior. She signs off her e-mails now with a line by St. Augustine: “You have made us for yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” Amen.
At the same time Abigail became actively involved with the pro-life movement. Last month, she shared her testimony at a Silent No More post-abortive rally and then did a radio interview. Her mother now refuses to speak to her.
But Abigail’s heart is for her mother and the abortion culture. She wrote in her testimony:
As important as my faith now is to me, it is not the most important lesson I want people to take away from this.
It is important to recognize and effectively counter the culture of death that drives the abortion industry. Most people who are pro-choice have no idea about it. If they have given the issue any thought at all, they view it as either a religious one – “Christians hate women and sex” – or a civil-rights one – “Women have the right to make their own reproductive decisions.” Many are unaware of the scientific facts about fetal development. Many are unaware of the statistics and medical facts regarding miscarriages, infertility, infection, ectopic pregnancy, difficult births, cancers and mental-health issues that so often occur in post-abortive women. Many are unaware of the non-religious arguments against abortion.
It is worth noting that I considered myself pro-life – although not an activist – for 10 years before coming to belief in God. I was, and am, pro-life because I believe that the potential negative physical and mental effects on women outweigh the dubious positive of “not having to have a baby,” and that the fetus, from the moment of conception, is a separate human being with unique DNA who deserves the right to life as much as any person, regardless of their state of weakness, helplessness, or dependency.
The value of a person is without measure. It cannot – should not – be measured by intelligence, strength, appearance, economic status, ability to communicate, mobility, or any other subjective manmade standard. A person is a person, and if we allow – even encourage – them to be killed in abortion, then all manner of currently unspeakable horrors may become commonplace.
I have hope that this may not come to pass. Through a combination of effective outreach and activism, prayer, public testimony, sidewalk counseling and simple private conversations, I believe we can – and will – change this world, one person at a time, from an uncaring, selfish, shallow culture of death to a vibrant, joyful culture of life.
Note: Abigail Seidman may be contacted through Jill Stanek via e-mail.
Jill Stanek fought to stop “live-birth abortion” after witnessing one as a registered nurse at Christ Hospital in Oak Lawn, Ill. In 2002, President Bush asked Jill to attend his signing of the Born Alive Infants Protection Act. In January 2003, World Magazine named Jill one of the 30 most prominent pro-life leaders of the past 30 years. To learn more, visit Jill’s blog, Pro-life Pulse.
Comments (18)
I read this the other day! Did you read the follow-up? It was just as dreadful!
Thanks for sharing this! Hopefully it will open some eyes!
“I got the VIP treatment,” Abigail said. “Before I knew it I was on the table and waiting for everyone to crowd in so the doctor could begin. There were eight people in the room, including my mother’s two best friends. One drove 100 miles. They were so excited. They kept saying things to me like, ‘You’re part of the sisterhood now!’”
this was dreadful.
Extremism is a double edged sword.
It seems like the problem is the extremism, not the abortion. Is it possible that a woman, given the choice, will make the best choice for herself, if no other voices are present?
This makes it seem like we can not trust women to be reasonably well-informed or educated.
Now I’m not taking a stance in this comment about being anti-choice or pro-choice. I am, however, pro-human. And the problem in this story that really stands out to me isn’t that abortions happen. They do, we know this. The problem is that Abigail was never given a choice. And somehow, that seems to be her biggest problem.
Funny, I’m pretty sure that’s what the pro-choice movement is all about.
I was a pro choicer in high school because all my friends told me how important it was for a woman to have that choice. It wasn’t until I graduated and realized that “choice” is a human being and there are so many other options available. It scares me and saddens me to think of all the people we will never know because they were murdered before being born. They never had the chance to change the world….
She has said what I have been trying to say so much better then I ever have. I hope people hear her and the truth behind what she is saying, especially on a scientific/biological/psychological level.
Oh my god. This was amazing… I had an abortion back in March and it was the biggest, and well, ONLY regret of my life. My due date was to be October 16, 2010. I feel like I was meant to see this. Thank you so much, it’s brought me to tears.
Thank you for sharing this.
One out of three women in America have had an abortion. Most likely, someone in your own family has had an abortion who is close to you and even now today feels the effects. For someone I know, her mother had an abortion after she was born. How common is that in America today? So sad. Angels are weeping. In glory, many of us will discover that we have brothers and sisters we knew nothing about…
@quodmenutriut - what exactly do you mean by “pro-human”? i’ve never heard that term used before. also, if the pro-choice movement were truly about “choice” it would respect the “choice” of the unborn child.
@seriously_meredith - it saddens me, too.
@gvoxford - thank you so much for your comment. not sure how you came across my blog, but i’m glad you did. my thoughts and prayers are with you today.
@chira_hora - it is sad to think that many of us have siblings we don’t know about. i’ve heard that children can often sense it if there were abortions before them. i’m not sure of the specifics anymore, but there is a hormone or something that gets passed from mother to child to child to child… children born after an abortion often lash out and have other behavioral issues because they can sense that something is wrong (someone is missing) and they don’t know how else to express their pain and frustration. like you said, all will be revealed in glory.
@sweetmumbleb - It was on a recommended list to me by ancient_scribe. I don’t know why it caught my eye but I just had to read it. Nine months of not being able to forgive myself and you and your post really did it. Thank you so much. I am saving this page! The lift I feel is incredible. I am praying for you too : )
@gvoxford - thank you for your prayers! I was
thinking about you earlier today… have you been able to share your
story? have you gotten involved with any post-abortive
groups/retreats/resources?
No not yet, well considering I have finally let go on Saturday. I’m not sure if I’m ready yet, ready and know how to put it into words, but I know I will get involved in something. I’ve been looking at Project Rachel and other groups. Thank you
And seriously, I can’t thank you enough for posting this just when I needed it.
@chira_hora - sorry, but I just don’t believe in that statistic at all, I know many women, many of them closely, and none of them have had an abortion, I will bet my life on it! My best guess would be more like one in 30 women have had one, but I do not know what the real numbers are. Do you yourself know that many women who have had one? Probably not. BTW, not trying to simply make an argument with you
, just trying to make you think. I have been on both sides of the issue, I believe that women should protect themselves from getting pregnant if they do not want to have a child, it’s not that hard to do. That’s the most important choice. Having children is not for everyone either. Peace to you and thanks for your post for igniting my brain cells today :).